Something, one wonders what, has...
...had the oft-seen sorcerer's apprentice effect on the pristine narcissism of Scott Erb. As you can see (April 14 & 15, 2005 entries), he has decided to have a cocktail party in the faculty lounge to which he is the only one invited. The expected stream of banalities and absurdities ensues.
For anyone who has paid any attention to Professor Erb on Usenet, these latest babblings will come as no surprise, even the part where his tired old song and dance is presented as though it had just occurred to him.
I suppose if you lay down a circle of pabulum, squirt lighter fluid on it, and light it up, it is still a ring of fire, to someone.
For anyone who has paid any attention to Professor Erb on Usenet, these latest babblings will come as no surprise, even the part where his tired old song and dance is presented as though it had just occurred to him.
I suppose if you lay down a circle of pabulum, squirt lighter fluid on it, and light it up, it is still a ring of fire, to someone.
posted by Martin McPhillips at
2:48 PM
2 Comments:
Personally, I don't wonder.
Get Billy to show you the screen capture I sent him today.
From long ago, and happier days on USENET:
Since Professor Scott Erb's recent series of crimes on this newsgroup
seem to call out to Heaven for vengeance, even if only imaginary, I have decided to repost this (slightly revised) proposal.
Enjoy, O THUGNETsters!
(At one point, Kennedy offered this suggestion for the chastisement of
the irrepressible Erb:)
> That of course is good fun but the cruelest, and thus most gratifying,
> scenario is still to enroll Beck in Erb's classes for a semester.
( I then responded with this improved system of Erb torment:)
Beck first semester,lung the next.
lung and Beck for the third semester.
McPhillips in the Faculty Club bar.
Kurt Lochner offering moral support from the shrubbery and during long,
rambling phone calls late at night.
McCloskey is editor of the journal he's trying to submit papers to.
The ideal situation;
Having just lost fifty dollars to the head of the Political Science
Department, Martin McPhillips, in a theoretically friendly game of pool
at the Faculty Club ("Let's make it interesting, Scotti boy, - you want a chance to win back that money you lost yesterday, don't you?" And then Scott has to keep smiling, smiling, smiling), Scott Erb is facing today's class.
A phrase from Lochner's last phone call (recieved at 4:00 that
morning) runs through his sleep-deprived brain over and over again "Together 'forever', Dr Erb, yup. Kangas way the only way"
He can't stop wondering what Kurt means by that.
Will Lochner be crouched in the rhodedendrums again, trying to pass him crumpled dirty notes about the Scaife electrical ray machines in the walls?
In his briefcase is a note from McCloskey that was attached to yet
another rejected article: "Come sir, are we not all agreed that Attila the Hun was not motivated by a desire to restore the Burgundian crown, or that Constantinople is not situated in Iceland, or that citing
'Jethro Tull' chansons as references is inappropriate? Have not these
matters, O Framinghamstanis, been settled? Perhaps a different song is
sung on Planet Erbert, but..." etc, etc.
In the front row, Beck looms ominously, raising his hand, asking Erb to define his premises for the third time today.
Erb can hear the soft faint rubbery thump-thump-thump of lung kicking her heels against the legs of her seat as she draws pictures of Hello Kitty and the Tree of Life in her Big Chief notebook. His radiation burns from his last argument with lung have almost healed. Is she going to ask another question about the social organization of the Sleestax on "Land of The Lost"?
Erb's head feels like it's going to explode. He thinks he's going to
start screaming, but he knows if he starts, he will never stop.
No escape.
JS
--
A Short History Of The United States of America:
"Laugh all you want...I'm the one goin' down in history as the Thomas Jefferson of squirrels."
http://www.redmeat.com/redmeat/meatwagon/index.html
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